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it’s a gorgeous girl
My mom is yelling at my brother and I overheard this.
- Mom: GO TO YOUR ROOM
- Brother: that's not fair
- Mom: DO AS I SAY.
- Brother: You never send Lizzie to her room when she's in trouble!!
- Mom: Lizzie never leaves her room. If she were in trouble I'd make her sit in the living room or go outside or talk to human beings.
- Me: I CAN HEAR YOU.
- me: closes wrong tab
- me: PTERODACTYL NOISE
(Source: run-because-shia-labeouf)
You never really know someone until you see how they react when their chips get stuck in the vending machine.
(Source: acutelesbian)
first 20 to reblog get a promo to 12,800+!
- *Hears noises at night*: Well this is it, this is the end for me. I had a good life.
- *Gets shampoo in my eyes*: I guess I'm blind now. How am I going to go on? Holy shit!
- *Heart is beating fast*: I think I am having a heart attack. Is this what cardiac arrest is?
- *A cop walks by*: Here I go, about to get arrested. I probably murdered someone. I'm sure they know about when I smoked that one time.
- *Gets a sunburn*: Skin cancer.
